Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
