he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Randomize