y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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