I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
