The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
