So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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