she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
