That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
