I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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