So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
