Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
