We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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