I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
