More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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