My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
