Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
