She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
