Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
