he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
