i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
