Please, let me fuck your mom
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
