Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I AM VODKA MAN
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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