the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
