we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
