mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize