i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
