His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
