I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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