How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
