she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
