I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
