Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My pussy is not your playground.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
