So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
