Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
