I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
