At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
