marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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