do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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