once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
