I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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