Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
