I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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