K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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