why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
