hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
