woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
