I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
