thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
