I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I party with great urgency now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
