i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
