12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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