Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
