I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
