The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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